“What is one thing you wish you’d done before you left the States?”
“Honestly, this might sound a little odd but I wish I’d taken a bath. That’s a luxury I miss.”
“I couldn’t get home for financial reasons and my Grandmother died. That was a hard time but I got through it.”
“I actually had a bit of a personal crisis when I came here.”
“I was on the other side of 30 and didn’t have things tying me down. Peace Corps had always been a dream of mine.”
I clocked out and set-up my computer in the hospitality suite.
The call starts, 8am on a Thursday:
Overall, comparing the first call to the second, we all felt more comfortable asking the top question: “Will we have access to WIFI?”
“This is Constance. For those of you who joined the call, we are going to wait a few minutes and then get started.” Formal, polite, routine.
We all stated our names to “check-in” which was like listening to a five-car pileup of intro’s. We eventually huddle up and hunker down, each of us running strands from our spot in the country through a single conference line. I tried to identify voices with the intro videos we had to submit back in June. We had to record two minutes intro’ing ourselves in Spanish.
The CDO- Country Desk Officer in Guatemala- introduced herself. My gut says her name is Sarah but I don’t remember. She sounded awesome- excited, even, well-rehearsed but genuine. She had definitely given this talk before.
But the question on all of our minds which MaybeSarah mentioned, are “WHERE ARE WE GOING?” “WHEN DO WE FIND OUT?” We get our assignments on the morning of Thanksgiving. That’s probably intentional so we will have something to look forward to instead of missing family back home on the national holiday. Before that, we will be training for 3 months in a city, which city we don’t know. Then we listened to three testimonies from current volunteers. They told us where they lived before Peace Corps Guat, what their lives looked like and a hard time they had during Peace Corps and how they got through it. We heard from Adolfo, Xoce and I wish I could remember the other girl’s name. She was particularly relatable but all three sounded like stellar people.
Each volunteer was very different, each of their jobs and their experiences sounded unique. They sounded honest but happy: like they have really enjoyed their time in Peace Corps, period. But the facilitators wouldn’t choose lukewarm volunteers for an intro call. The experience with the host families rises to the top, resoundingly and across the board. I was encouraged to hear that because I am a home body. And I’m a little nervous about settling in with the family, naturally. Especially because my Spanish could use the oil can if you comprende.
I get the sense from hearing people’s stories, current volunteers, that it has been a lifelong dream for many of them (and maybe, us).
I think I will be in good company.
A couple things stood out to me: the call was world’s better than the first. Nana’s not on her deathbed, I’m coming around to leaving Alaska (though I don’t want to) and we’re all getting closer to departure. Let’s get this show on the road.
But: I also felt displaced.
Current volunteers said “Obviously, you are going to be spending lots of time with friends and family before you leave, but also..”
And the thing is, I am actually not doing that at all. I am far away from family, have been since April. My goal in September was to see Nana, which I’m also not going to do.
Every time I called her, she said “Well so when am I gonna see you again, Behbeh?” And I would say: “September.” Nana: “For How long?” “Now, Nana you’re not gonna like this but it is just gonna be for six days.” “Oh I was afraid of that.” We exchange all of this with an air of play-seriousness, of warmth. I mean, she means it seriously, but she also means it to make me feel good, loved, not to make me feel guilty. Now Nana is gone. I am still going to Peace Corps. I expected she would not be here come my peace corps return (December 2018). I did not expect that she would be gone this soon. But how do you prepare yourself for someone’s passing on a timeline, when you don’t want to prepare yourself at all?
Seems like many of them are leaving their homes, routine, predictability, stability, pets?, neighborhood grocery store. I am leaving one unpredictable, happy gig and going to another unpredictable gig. Before that I was at home for a few months. Before that, traveling indefinitely. Before that, miserable job.
I know that these folks are probably adventurers, too. Maybe they’ve been swinging from rope to rope like myself. I’m sure a few of them have been. Then there will also be a few who are kids, just out of school and bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to save the world.
The call was very helpful. I feel more confident about the entire departure. I know it’s the right thing for me to do, it’s a great next step and I know that I simply cannot stay in Alaska and get waterlogged and depressed with the sunshine on hiatus for 9 months. I don’t want Atlanta, especially not after a gorgeous summer like this, to sit in traffic and sweat my brains out and feel the distance of community.
So, off to Peace Corps. But until this call, I’ve been dreading it even though I knew it’s the right thing. Now I am dreading it less and that is progress.
