I’ve just been traveling to cities still on my list this December.

I went to Edinburgh, Istanbul, Izmir and Athens/Santorini.

To say that I am happier in this moment than I have been in years is true.

It’s the kind of happiness that you feel from having seen places you’ve always imagined you would see, but with surprise turns and twists that put you at the mercy of humankind but in the best possible sense.

Before I unfold all of it, I have to note how accustomed I got to having my phone as my only screen, source of communication and photo-capturing.

I am so happy to have all of these stories to tell, I can’t believe I’ve seen these cities!

But now I feel the burden of this machine on my lap and my hands crunched over to pound out letters and make sense of these stories. I’m sad they are behind me.

And tomorrow I’ll be faced with another machine: my car. The most lording and terrible of all machines.

It takes you off of your legs and onto your ass but somehow you’re still moving.

I’m so happy I don’t have to return to a sofa, to furniture, to a set of keys. I just have a key to the machine and that will be more than I want.

But! I have presents: I have olives and chocolates and nutella and books and stories to share with my family.

I have a Nana to kiss and never let go of. I love her more than pudding.

Families are also clunky things- when they are the most brilliant group of people, there’s just more clunking around that has to happen when you are with them. Dishes clanking, tiptoeing over this, laughing about that, spinning the Scrabble board around, feeding the pets, cleaning out the litter, again and again.

But clunk means company and love and warmth and general not-aloneness which is the best gift of the holidays. Not aloneness.

But this clunky computer. I really don’t need it as much as I thought.