“Dock Dock St. Nona” 

“Go Ahead St. Nona” 

“We are off the dock at 07:18 with 46 passengers, 6 crew and one native artist, Good Morning.”

“Have a good trip.” 

I walk over to John with my sign in hand, he hands me a rubber-banded stack of tickets. We are donning our green jackets.

On a Wednesday, it’s just me and Johnathan going duo. That’s Suz’s day off so we’re left to our own devices. It’s on One meaning the ship is at Berth One and our Dock is at Berth One so the passengers don’t have far to walk. I stand in front of the ship with the sign, direct them to Johnathan “Who is standing in front of Christmas in Alaska, also wearing a green jacket like mine” and they head that way. From there it’s just a quick jaunt down the ramp and onto our 78-foot catamaran. 

The folks who come off of the Regatta look like they would have been on the Titanic had they had the chance. Funny canes and full length fur jackets., hats, sometimes hand gloves and not the utilitarian ones, the gussy fur ones you take off in your hand and slap your butler with on the lapel. 

Once we get all our people, I get the green light from the Shorex. Unless something stupid happens like someone gets stuck on board or someone’s husband went back to get his jacket, we can usually get the single tours off on time. That’s why Suzanne can take Wednesdays off in the first place.. Slow ship days on Wednesdays. 

It’s a nice day, the mist is lifting but still visible. The sun is going to be in full-effect by late afternoon but right now it’s blanketed in peace, shielding us from disruptive sunshine and reflection off the ocean. 

I flip through tickets twice, count them, fill out my settlement sheet, John checks my math. 

We bring our tickets to settle over with the Shorex. 

He is my favorite Shorex, an Aussie in his 40s named is Alistair. He’s always chipper, calm and has an Australian accent so what could be better?

Just as we approach Alistair under the gazebo, a frail, fancy lady with light coral nails, sunglasses, khaki-colored slacks and a smart flat shoe moves slowly to us. She asks if we are boarding the boat tour. We tell her that our boat as left and the Shorex is there to address it, but it’s still uncomfortable. 

She is traveling alone, by the looks of it. 

“The people on the ship told me to wait in the lobby, that they would announce when we were leaving!” She was at least 15 minutes late so there was nothing we could do. Since single departures usually get off on time, it’s unlikely the boat will still be there.

Johnathan and I are bracing ourselves. We’re split pea green but I’m a tense split pea. Johnathan braces himself differently, meaning that he sort of goes into straightforward mode. He hates talking to the tourists and gets pretty awkward, so he prefers to be short and straightforward. It comes off as a little inconsiderate but really I think he just gets nervous. And I’m tense. And we’re standing there, waiting for her to throw her flukes up. 

She looks out at the St. Nona, sadly, disappointedly, and says “Oh, I’ve so been looking forward to this” as the boat trails away in the distance. 

In that moment, I thought Celine Dion’s voice was going to erupt from the sky “My Heart Will Go On and On” and she was going to explain that her husband dropped his watch in the ocean when he went to the Misty Fjords. He loved being punctual, and he loved that watch. When he died, his final wish on his deathbed was for Marjorie, his wife, to journey to the Fjords and think of him. Certainly there is no sense in finding the watch, but at least she can stand above where he dropped him and in that way honor her punctual husband and the watch. 

This sad little lady made me so sad. I wanted her to go to the Fjords but she was misinfjormed! 

Alistair speedily offers her a refund and asks what other tours she may be interested in, and begins to share the options with her. 

I could tell this was the only thing she really wanted to do in Ketchikan. Ziplining Tours, Kayaking, A Fishing Charter? Not for Marjorie. 

And I couldn’t fix it. 

I told Danielle, our admin, who said “Don’t you just wish they would get angry at you instead? It’s when they get sad at you that it’s so awful!”